Hello reader,

I really love being nice to people. You never know when someone may be going through a pretty rough time and when I make someone smile, it makes me smile as well. Sometimes though, it can be hard to figure out how to make someone smile but fret not, here are 5 very simple ways you can make someone’s day.

1. Compliment them. Sure, so clichéd, but compliment them in a different way and if possible, make sure you compliment something that is permanent for them. Steer away from complimenting their eyes, or smiles; chances are they’ve heard it all before. Try complimenting them about something that they won’t expect anyone to really pay attention to like their hands or something alike. When I was in grade 8, this lovely girl told me that she loved the way I walk and it was so unexpected that I’m still smiling about it all these years later. She really made an impact with a compliment so simple.

2.    Do little things for them. If it’s a stranger, you could open/hold the door for them (as long as they are not far away so they have to do an awkward jog to get to you, haha!) or help carry their bags or let them get in first in a lift. Possibilities are endless. Hopefully they’ll appreciate it and you’ll get –what’s that? Is that a smile? – yes, a smile out of them. If it’s someone you know, try making a cup of tea or coffee out of the blue for them or giving them a chocolate bar or even going as far as giving them a little gift.

3.    Smile widely at them. Don’t just smile a tiny smile that then disappears once they look away. It’s quite easy to spot a fake smile. First try noticing something you like about them -maybe their outfit?- and smiling . People respond back to real smiles (as far as I’ve noticed) and hopefully they’ll mirror your smile.

4.    Talk to them. Most often than not, people just need someone to talk to, even if it’s just a short conversation. Talk to someone you haven’t talked to in a while and tell them that you were thinking about them. Remind them of something awesome or funny they’ve done/said and they’ll appreciate that they are in someone’s thoughts and that they are not easily forgettable. Also, it is important that you don’t ask for anything when you do this or they’ll think you only talk to them when you want something.

5.    Share things with them. The internet is full of funny pictures and videos that are guaranteed to make someone smile. For example, you could try texting a friend a link to a gif with ‘hey, I think you will like this.’ Or you could offer to share food (yes, yes share!) or even something as small as a joke. I for one like sharing jokes I’ve seen on Reddit. Reddit is rife with them!

These are just a few simple things that I do and that have been done to me (and that you could do) that have made me and people smile. I’m all for making this world a better and brighter place and I believe it all starts with being of service to others; being kind to them, loving them and helping them when needed.

What little things do you do to make someone’s day? I would love to read all about them so feel free to comment and if you’re a blogger, leave a comment with your link so I could check out your blog.

Have a fantastic and happy weekend!

‘Til next time,

-Bella

When you compare yourself to others

Hello reader,

Today I’m not feeling particularly well and went through a terrible night/morning where I had some kind of skin reaction and my entire body itched, it was hard to fall asleep and now I’m feeling super drowsy. Anyway, other than this, something happened yesterday that I want to tell you about.

I made a mistake yesterday. I sat down in front of my PC to get to work on some designs when I reached a creative block. I decided to go online and have a look at some designs similar to what I want to do and that’s when it went downhill. The first thought came into my head, ‘mine suck!’ ‘Am I even good?’ And just like that, my self-esteem took a knocker. It only took less than a minute for that to happen.

Here’s where I made a mistake. I compared myself to those other designers whose work I deemed better than mine, and honestly, they were. However, I was only supposed to get inspiration from them and not bring myself down in the process. Suddenly the work I felt really proud of became something measly. What really put me down in the dumpers was that I worked really hard on those designs and I was supposed to unveil them to the public soon. ‘Who would buy these when there’s so many better out there?’ I asked myself.

I know that I’m a long way off from being the designer I want to be but isn’t this what it’s all about? The journey? For some reason we just want to have arrived at that place. We compare ourselves to others who have begun earlier and a much further because of that plus hard work. There’s a saying I read somewhere that says, “Do not compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20.” Easy to say though, isn’t it? Sometimes we just cannot help it.

When I started feeling as if my designs were crap, I switched off my PC and took a step back. I reassured myself that okay, maybe compared to the other designers’ who have more design experience than I do, my designs are not that great but when compared to the previous designs I did, they look pretty awesome! I put myself back on track and I know now that this is my own journey that I’m walking and I cannot wander onto others’ lanes or compare my distance to theirs. Someday I will get there and I’ll bet that those very same designers also wish they were somewhere as well because let’s face it; there will always be someone much better than you are. The trick, I learned, is to be better than the person you were yesterday and that’s what I will remind myself of whenever those niggling thoughts start to creep in.

Dear reader, I will love to hear your thoughts on this subject. How do you deal with comparing yourself to others and the not-so-good feelings that come with it? Feel free to comment. J

Now, let me drink a lot of fluids and get some rest until I feel 100% better. ‘Til next time,

-Bella 

When life gets in the way of your dreams

Hello reader,

Isn’t life a funny thing? It’s made of complexities that no one can really make sense of, but are we even supposed to? It’s hard enough trying to live it. You get these dreams in your heart and you try and go after them because of the life you want to live. Sometimes however, it’s hard to reach those dreams and you have to forget them for the moment and live the life you don’t really want just to get by. Moments turn into months, which turn into years and before you know it, you haven’t chased after your dreams and you don’t really have all the time in the world now.

It’s hard, I get it. Right now I’m trying to live my dream of being a successful artist and running a successful business but it’s just so dang hard. My savings have all but dried up and I feel even more pressure to just forget my dream for the time being and to just make a living. I know I’m not the only one as well. I am however reluctant to give up because I know exactly what I want. I put all my savings and a lot of time and tears into this dream and sooner or later something has gotta give, right?

I’m holding onto that hope because I truly and wholeheartedly believe in myself and if I don’t believe in myself, who would? And if I don’t give myself a chance, really, who would? So many unfortunate people have given up on their dreams to just get by but I realise that most of them had no choice because they had families to feed and well, life just happened. I don’t want that to happen to me. I don’t want life to happen to me, I want to happen to life and I will put in more than 100% to even touch my dream.  Perhaps this is all just a test to see how much we would fight for our dreams. I hope that you will all take up arms and fight with everything you have to reach your dreams because if you can dream it, you can live it. I don't believe God puts dreams and visions into our hearts just to watch us not live them.

Have you ever encountered a time when some uncontrollable situations threatened to derail your dream/s? Feel free to comment and let me know.

‘Til next time and have a great, fantastic weekend!

-Bella

How much do you value privacy?

Hello reader,

I was on a random Reddit thread yesterday when someone said he used to look at geotagged images and try and find the people in the photos, calling them by their names because it is so easy to find out things about them just from a tagged image. It was an interesting discussion that makes me wonder, how much do we value privacy?

It is so easy to forget that the internet is not a really safe place that we share anything and everything freely. I was once like that. I shared every photo I liked on Facebook and Twitter until one day I received a reawakening. I had Googled myself and the images that came up were personal pictures and lots of photos of my nephews. I love my nephews very much and I think they are the cutest so I felt the unnecessary need to share their photos with my Facebook friends and my Twitter followers, not understanding that I’m actually sharing them with the entire world. I wasn’t comfortable with their pictures out there like that because they are so young. I therefore embarked on a ‘clean up’ mission, deleting Twitpics and removing photos off my Facebook. Not only that but I readjusted my privacy settings.

I had always liked privacy but now I value it greatly. I am now careful of what I post asking myself questions like, “is there anything that looks unfavourably upon me and my loved ones?” “Did this person/s approve of me posting this photo?” “Will this hurt someone?”  “I’m I revealing unnecessary personal information about myself or others?” and so on. Nowadays I only talk about my nephews and it’s always something positive. I don’t post pictures of them anymore and not many people know their names, or where they go to school. That’s how I like to keep it. I admit though, sometimes I’m tempted to post a photo. My cousin sent my mum a photo of his newborn daughter and she was so, so adorable that I wanted to Tweet it. I didn’t though because she’s still so young and I didn’t think my cousin would approve. I didn’t even post photos of my nephew’s athletic meet because other than respecting my own privacy, I respect and value theirs as well. I am so careful of what I post online that even here on this little blog of mine, I make sure that I don’t reveal too much about myself or my loved ones. I think its importance to maintain a balance.

I do feel sorry for celebrities when thinking of how privacy is important to me. Even though renouncing most of your privacy comes with the status, I cannot imagine how unsettling it must be to have millions of people know details about your personal life from who you are dating, which restaurant you visited to your pets names. In high school a lot of people knew my name and who I was. I wasn’t popular *scoffs*; it just came with being the only one wearing hearing aids. I remember one day when I was in the school bathroom –I must have been in Grade 11 or Grade 12- and this lovely girl in Grade 8 said, “Isabella?” I looked at her and she smiled and said, “I know who you are.” That was so unsettling because I did not know her name. Not fair, haha! Felt like something out of a thriller.

I think we all need to carefully scrutinize what we put online and if it involves other people, ask them for permission, especially when tagging! I am not a fan of tagging people in photos on Facebook and if I do, it’s because they’ve asked me, or gave their okay for me to post photos of them and tag them. Did you know that even if you’re not friends with a specific somebody on Facebook, they are able to find information about you just by having a mutual friend tag you in something? Let that sink in a moment.

Feel free to comment and let me know how much you value your own personal privacy, if you have ever experienced an invasion of privacy or what steps you take to ensure your privacy online. I’d love to hear your stories!

‘Til next time,

-Bella

5 ways to love Mondays

Hello reader,

Many people loathe Mondays. They go to bed on Sundays dreading waking up on Monday mornings. I used to be that person but now I don’t really mind Mondays. I actually love them! *gasp* How!? Worry not, I, Bella, shall teach you this sorcery. Below is five ways you can love Mondays.

1. Find something you love. If you’re miserable in your current job, it doesn’t have to be that way! You can actually make money doing what you love, plenty of people do, including me! However, if you love your job but certain aspects of it make you miserable, find something that’ll make you look forward to your job and focus on them. It could be anything from seeing your favourite colleagues or having lunch with a book in your special corner. You could even decorate your work space to be one of your favourite places to be, make it relaxing! Same goes for school. Focus on seeing your friends and going to your favourite classes until there is little to no space for focusing on things you do not like.

2. Dedicate Mondays for something special. Eat your absolute favourite cereal on Mondays only or treat yourself to something you do not normally do or eat on Mondays. You could also schedule Mondays for dinner dates or nights out or perhaps even a weekly spa treatment. You could also ask your best friend, SO or a family member to send you a very special message on Mondays.

3. Play your Friday song on Monday mornings. If you have a song that is your Friday anthem, one that gets you excited on Fridays, play it on Monday mornings and you’ll get excited like you do on Fridays! If you do not have one yet, find one you’d like and play it on Fridays for a few weeks then play it on Mondays as well. The Cure’s Friday I’m in Love is my Friday song and it’s upbeat so it gets me dancing as well! I heavily suggest it (and The Cure as a band) for your Friday song!

4. Go to bed on Sundays early and get up early on Mondays. Avoid going to bed late on Sunday as you will often wake up tired on Mondays. By going to bed early, you can hopefully get your full 8 hours and wake up well rested. You could also wake up earlier than usual on Monday and use the extra hour or two just lie in bed reading a book, being on your phone or just cuddling your SO or teddy or puppy! You could also put in a work out that’ll ‘wake you up’ or rejuvenate you, if you prefer that kind of thing. When I wake up early I like doing my chores quickly so I have more hours in the day to do what I want to do be it working, watching a movie or napping.

5. Prepare everything the night before. This is a time saver and also a stress reliever! If you’re due to work or school the next morning, iron and lay out your clothes and pack your bag and lunch ready to go. In high school I did just that and it allowed me to sneak in some few extra minutes of shut eye and be able to wake up and not run around like a headless chicken. Now I’d make a To-Do list the night before and make sure I have everything on my desk ready for the next day. I could literally just get out of bed and onto my chair ready to work that way.

 

Keep at it for a few weeks and your brain will be conditioned to love Mondays and soon enough you would be looking forward to Mondays. It also helps when you recognise your disdain for Monday creeping in and just bursting into spontaneous dance and song, singing, “I love Mondays. Oh, I love Mondays. Mondays are so good to meee!” I kid you not. Try it.

What do you do to survive Mondays? Anyone else already implementing these tips? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

‘Til next time

-Bella

Sacrificing Laughter For Youthful Skin

Hello reader,

The other day I read an article about a woman who hasn't smiled for 40 years to preserve her ‘youthful skin’. Uhm, what? Vanity has gone to new lengths. She didn’t even smile when her daughter was born save for a smirk….all because she wanted no wrinkles.

I don’t see anything wrong with wrinkles. I think they are a testament to life. And laugh wrinkles are amazing! I think they are beautiful. I actually love people with laugh wrinkles and I think they are very beautiful.  To me that says they always find moments in life to laugh and a face tell a story. I’d love to surround myself with people who are not afraid to laugh since I love laughing too and I’d love to be among people who have awesome stories to tell, people who have laughed and cried.

I cannot imagine a life without laughter. I really cannot. Can you? I really think laughing and smiling is a very important part of life because of how hard life can be sometimes. One should be able to smile or laugh to show joy and happiness in between all the sadness, sorrow and frustrations. Is it REALLY worth it to have a limited life experience just for no wrinkles? I can’t think of any worthwhile benefits that having wrinkle free skin has.

People who know me know that I love laughing. I always find an excuse to laugh and smile and I never made it a point to worry about the wrinkles all these laughing will give me. I focus on the happiness and the liberated feeling laughing gives me. Have you ever laughed until tears streamed down your face and you couldn’t breathe? How did you feel after? THAT feeling should be much more important than worrying about wrinkles.

This world needs more laughter and not people who worry too much about their looks. We’re all going to die anyway and I doubt a wrinkle free face would really matter. Not laughing or smiling is like refusing to write on paper out of fear of dirtying it or wrinkling it. In the end you’re left with a clean blank paper and not a story. I value being able to laugh and smile; I won’t ever stop indulging in laughter even if I were offered a million dollars. What would I do? Laugh all the way to the bank?

‘Til next time

-Bella

My MasterChef Addiction

Hello reader,

It was a Friday evening and I had just left for my cousins' for the weekend when 

I realised that I forgot to schedule Friday's post for publishing before leaving my house. Eeek! There was really nothing I could do because I don't leave the house with my router meaning there was no internet. I got back home yesterday and I was so tired that I was in bed before 9pm. Today I remembered that I had Friday's post to publish...albeit several days late but hey, better late than never right? Right!? ...anyway, here's Friday's post.

 ***

The Plant

My name is Isabella and I am addicted to MasterChef. I do not even know how I got addicted to it because I didn’t watch it before, but I’m prepared to bet it was the food that did it. *scoffs* Who doesn’t like food!? Am I right?

I was channel hopping one fateful day and I decided to check out my favourite channel. I noticed ‘MasterChef’ first then the next thing I noticed was subtitles. Whaat!? It had subtitles! I LOVE subtitles! I made myself comfortable on the sofa and watched it. And lo and behold I was addicted. From then on, I never missed an episode if I could help it.

I’m not a foodie per se. I think the fanciest thing I’ve ever eaten was squid, which is yummy by the way. My Instagram account is not burdened with food snaps. I do believe I only have one food picture and that is one of buffalo wings which are basically my favourite food.  I’ve never eaten in a restaurant where they offer you an entrée, main and desert. Those three course and five course meals the MasterChef Australia Professional chefs served. How much would they cost anyway? An arm? Or an arm and half a leg? Because I would really love to taste some seared scallops, quail and a pinna cotta.

Anyway, despite not being a hardcore foodie, I actually like cooking. And baking. I love coming up with new recipes or cooking something that I have never cooked before. I think I’m pretty decent in the kitchen but I would love to be amazing. I would love to be able to cook those hard- to-pronounce dishes for my family and friends. I fantasize many a day, of hosting a dinner party in my own home with dishes I have made myself and yes, three or five course meals. Wouldn't that be trés merveilleux?

Friday was the last episode of the MasterChef Australia: The Professionals show and Rhys won! What? Okay, so I’m watching a show from 2013 in 2015. Sue me, but this channel I watch show reruns and it’s awesome because I’ve never seen these series and shows before as a result of being away at college with no TV. I will miss cheering for the chefs, being anxious when they are not doing well in the kitchen or their food or plating flops and tearing up when they are eliminated. Except for that one chef, Rhett! What a big ego! I would also miss Marco Pierre White and the way he swings his right hand with the pinky or forefinger raised to punctuate his words. I did try to imitate him but I just looked weird.

I don’t worry much though, there are plenty of MasterChef shows on circuit. For example, Junior MasterChef is currently showing (great, 11 year olds who cook tons better than I do. Good for my self-esteem, haha!) and the South African version of Celebrity MasterChef just premiered yesterday (Sunday) evening.

Now, I just need to try my best to recreate those beautiful dishes I saw. My only qualm with the MasterChef shows is that they don’t really depict the cooking process or what exact ingredients go into their food but that’s what Googling is for, right? Doubt I’d even remember the exact ingredients if they were shown.

Is anyone here a foodie or a MasterChef fan like me? Did you ever recreate a MasterChef dish? Really!? How did it go!? Please let me know in the comments below so I can be jealous!

‘Til next time,

-Bella

Knowing when to step back and breathe

Hello reader,

It’s been a long time since I last published a post. I have no excuse, I just simply needed to take a step back from all the stuff I had on and breathe. Also, my beloved puppy Teddy was accidentally run over on Monday, a day I had planned to blog so I postponed to deal with it. My Mum and I are still sad about it as Teddy was nothing but a delight. Those who follow me on Twitter will know since I was always tweeting about him. “Teddaaaar!”

Teddy was on our Christmas card. He was very hyperactive so I had to give him a mielie cob to get him to look at the camera! Haha!

From the beginning of the year I took off running, taking on more than I could handle and tried to do a lot of things within a single day…by myself. I was so overwhelmed and I got stressed, really frustrated and then doubt started to creep in. I knew then, that I needed to take a step back from a few things.

I’ve been busy running my design business Allebasi Design and designing a new website for it, trying my hand at marketing, doing a lot of research and reading. I wasn’t reading books on my book list; either, I was reading a lot of resources on How to Market Yourself, 10 Steps to Freelancing Successfully…those kinds of reading material. Because of this, I had only managed to read one book from my book list in January. Last year I had read 8 books in January! Eight to one in a year!? Now, I acknowledge that I’m busier than I was last year and really, running a business is so, so hard. I’m doing everything by myself, with no help from anyone and it’s really hard to get clients as well. This month it’ll be 3 months since I officially launched Allebasi Design and to this day it’s still challenging. Sometimes I think whether I should just quit running it full time and get a job. It had been my dream to run my own business and I think that’s why I’m still keeping up with it to this day, that and the fact that I had learned so much!  I started out with a crappy website and I set up another one with my own domain name and it looks great! Through working on my website, I worried about other things that I needed to complete. I was spending far too much time working that I started biting my nails (a sure sign of stress!) and I needed to wear my glasses full time, I was getting headaches everyday and I kept bumping into walls and corners because my perception was off. I was spending a dangerous amount of time in front of my computer.

I needed to simplify things and concentrate on one thing at a time. Today I spend less time on the computer. More than 4 hours without a break is reaching so I make sure to keep my computer sessions under 4 hours or take regular, lengthy breaks if I’m particularly busy. I dedicate weeks to a couple of things at a time and I keep to it. For example I’ve scheduled this week for comic drawing and traditional illustration (which also means less time spent on the PC as I’m using pens and paper, yay!) and the next week will be Valentine’s Week, meaning I’ll dedicate that week to hand drawing Valentine’sDay cards for clients who’ve ordered them and also doing some Valentine’s Day photoshoots! 

When I feel myself start to get frustrated I immediately take a step back and remind myself that things will happen when they are supposed to and I can’t hurry it or that in the end things will work out. Every single thing that happens between now and then is a lesson. This is also a lesson in patience and by praying about things I want to happen and trust God to make them happen, I am reassured.

Taking a step back to breathe and simplifying things made it easier for me. I still get frustrated but it’s less frustration or frustration of things beyond my control. My nails are stronger now and growing. I don’t bump into walls anymore and best of all I have time to read. I’m currently reading The Book Thief now and it’s really interesting. Also, I’m learning German words like Arschloch from it, haha! I’m currently learning to work smarter instead of putting in a lot of unnecessary hours and I’m glad that I’m finally reaching a balance. 

If you have ever felt the way I did please let me know what you did to balance yourself. I’d really love to hear your thoughts!

P.S I will be blogging twice weekly here every Wednesday and Friday and once weekly every other day on my business blog (for all you fellow entrepreneurs and creative minds! :D) for the entire month of February and if it goes well, I’ll even keep it up for the next months.

‘Til next time,

-Bella