Hello reader,
Today I’m not feeling particularly well and went through a terrible
night/morning where I had some kind of skin reaction and my entire body itched,
it was hard to fall asleep and now I’m feeling super drowsy. Anyway, other than
this, something happened yesterday that I want to tell you about.
I made a mistake yesterday. I sat down in front of my PC to
get to work on some designs when I reached a creative block. I decided to go
online and have a look at some designs similar to what I want to do and that’s
when it went downhill. The first thought came into my head, ‘mine suck!’ ‘Am I even good?’ And just
like that, my self-esteem took a knocker. It only took less than a minute for
that to happen.
Here’s where I made a mistake. I compared myself to those
other designers whose work I deemed better than mine, and honestly, they were.
However, I was only supposed to get inspiration from them and not bring myself
down in the process. Suddenly the work I felt really proud of became something measly.
What really put me down in the dumpers was that I worked really hard on those
designs and I was supposed to unveil them to the public soon. ‘Who would buy these when there’s so many
better out there?’ I asked myself.
I know that I’m a long way off from being the designer I
want to be but isn’t this what it’s all about? The journey? For some reason we
just want to have arrived at that place. We compare ourselves to others who
have begun earlier and a much further because of that plus hard work. There’s a
saying I read somewhere that says, “Do not compare your Chapter 1 to someone
else’s Chapter 20.” Easy to say though, isn’t it? Sometimes we just cannot help
it.
When I started feeling as if my designs were crap, I
switched off my PC and took a step back. I reassured myself that okay, maybe
compared to the other designers’ who have more design experience than I do, my
designs are not that great but when compared to the previous designs I did,
they look pretty awesome! I put myself back on track and I know now that this
is my own journey that I’m walking and I cannot wander onto others’ lanes or compare
my distance to theirs. Someday I will get there and I’ll bet that those very
same designers also wish they were somewhere as well because let’s face it; there
will always be someone much better than you are. The trick, I learned, is to be
better than the person you were yesterday and that’s what I will remind myself
of whenever those niggling thoughts start to creep in.
Dear reader, I will love to hear your thoughts on this
subject. How do you deal with comparing yourself to others and the not-so-good
feelings that come with it? Feel free to comment. J
Now, let me drink a lot of fluids and get some rest until I feel
100% better. ‘Til next time,
-Bella
